and yet i think it's healthy that i struggle with why i struggle.
and yet in the midst of struggling there's this tension of not only struggling with who i am and the things i do but with whose i am and what that means for my life. i have been bought with a price. i am not my own.
galatian 2:20-21 says,
"i have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. the life i now live in the body, i live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. i do not set aside the grace of God, for if righeousness could be gained through the law, Christ died for nothing!"
the scriptures speak over and over again that we as believers are in Christ. if we are in Christ that means that the person of Christ overshadows everything that I myself am and also everything that I have done. it's a tough thing to wrap your mind around but it's grace.
that means that when the Father looks at me, he only sees Christ and what he has done for me.
1 timothy 2:5-6 says,
"for there is one God and one mediator between God and human beings, Christ Jesus, himself human, who gave himself as a ransom for all people. this has now been witnessed to at the proper time."
for Christ to be the mediator between us and God means literally that he stands between us and connects us.
i heard it said once that it's like the greatest eclipse that has ever occurred. Christ steps in between us and God and overshadows everything we are and everything we have ever done so all God sees is Christ and what he has done for us.
so then the question arises, why struggle with struggling. if all God sees when he looks at us is Christ and what he did for us and we don't have to earn his approval, why do what is right?
i heard it said this way once and it rocked me to the core: "we don't do what is right so that daddy will love us more but so that others will see daddy."
maybe it isn't just about me and my relationship with God afer all. maybe it's about him and his name and his kingdom. maybe i'm part of something that's bigger than myself. maybe me doing right is more about others seeing daddy than it is about daddy loving me more.
in the midst of the struggle, he'll never love me more or less than he does right now...
and that fact alone makes me want to keep struggling with the struggles.
