When we set out on this church planting journey, so many people who had walked the road before us warned us that it would be one of the most difficult things we would ever do. (It certainly has been.) They said, “If you don’t feel a true sense of calling from God, and you can imagine yourself doing anything else, don’t plant a church.” (I couldn’t imagine (and I still can’t imagine) doing anything else.) They said, “Don’t be surprised when a year or two from now, most of the people who set out on this journey with you are no longer with you.” (Of course you think you’re going to be the exception, but here we are a couple years into this thing, and most of the people who set out on this journey with us are no longer with us. For some I understand why, for others I still don’t understand. In either case, it’s painful.)
I apologize if some of you are growing weary in hearing me express the emotional rollercoaster this journey has been (and continues to be) for me. It certainly would, in many ways, be easier and more comfortable to keep it stuffed inside and pretend like we have it all together. Some may argue that that approach would be better for creating stability for us as a fledgling new church community. Although everyone may not be feeling these things, and everyone may not be feeling them to the degree that I am feeling them, I suspect that I am not the only one wrestling through this journey. And so right or wrong, I’m attempting to continue to step out of my comfort zone and to be candid about what I am experiencing and feeling.
When I say this has been an emotional rollercoaster, it truly has been. Two Sundays ago we had a great turn out for our Sunday Morning Gathering. We had a handful of visitors who all really seemed to have a positive experience. I had the opportunity to connect with a number of other pastors in the area to talk about what the church is really meant to be, and to dream about how we can better work together for the sake of God’s kingdom. I had several clearly God-orchestrated encounters with unchurched people and the opportunity to speak into their lives. It was a great week! And then this past Sunday we had our lowest ever attended Sunday, and as much as I tried to fight it, I found myself in a heap of discouragement, wondering if God has completely abandoned us, and ready to throw in the towel. Deep down inside I know it’s not about how many people show up on a Sunday morning. I know that’s not what it’s about, and it’s not why we do what we do. And I wish those things didn’t effect me the way they do, but they do. I’m grateful, though, that God is using those things to work in my life and to continue growing me into the person He wants me to be.
This isn’t my first ride on this rollercoaster either. It’s been quite a regular occurrence over this journey. I remember distinct points a year ago, 10 months ago, 8 months ago, 6 months ago, 4 months ago, 2 months ago, where I thought maybe it was over. And yet, we’re still here. And all along this journey, when these moments of discouragement set in, as I do my best to press into God even in the midst of that discouragement, the fog begins to lift and God keeps bringing me back to my calling. I’m here not because Impact Community Church is the answer, not because this thing looks anything like I thought it was going to look like, not because we have a certain number of people coming on Sunday mornings, and not because certain people are here with us on this journey. I’m here because, at this moment, this is where God has called me to be. And no matter what the circumstances look like around me… no matter how much it doesn’t make sense, and it may not look like it’s going to work, until the Spirit of God makes it clear that I’m called to be somewhere else, I am praying that God will continue to give me the faith, the strength, and the obedience to stand and endure. And those of you that are called to be here with us, I’m praying for you as well, that God will continue to give you the faith, strength, and obedience to stand and endure as well.
Galatians 6:9 encourages us, "9 Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” The truth is, the harvest belongs to God. When it comes, how it comes, and what it looks like is God’s business. It may not look like anything we thought it would. It may not come as soon as we think it should. Our job is not to manufacture a harvest. Our job is to be faithful in doing good and to never give up. Our mission is not to build A church or even to build THE church. Jesus said He would build the church, and the gates of hell would not prevail against it. As a small segment of God’s one church, we have been commissioned to go and make disciples. With or without Impact Community Church, this is, and always will be our mission. But as long as God has a role for Impact Community Church to play in that mission, as a segment of His one Church, we will continue on. If and when God no longer has a role for Impact Community Church, as an organization, to play in that mission, I trust and believe that God will no longer make it possible for us to be in existence. I have seen enough of God’s hand in this journey to know, with certainty, that we are not here because we’ve willed this thing into existence, we’re here because God has called us to be here. And for as long as God calls us to be here, there is work for us to do. “The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few.” Personally, I want to get beyond trying to figure out whether or not we are supposed to be here as a church community. I think the enemy would love nothing more than for us to spend all of our time trying to figure out whether or not we should be here, and to not spend any of that time actually fulfilling the Great Commission. I confess that I have been distracted and I’m sorry for that! As long as God continues to make provision for us to be here, let’s keep our eyes focused on the mission.
I was reading today in the book of Colossians. Paul wrote this letter while he was imprisoned for living out the mission God had given him. It was one of several occasions where Paul was imprisoned for His faith. He was also slandered, beaten, left for dead, was homeless. hungry… and the list could go on and on. I’m sure to many, these setbacks could have been viewed as clear evidence that God was not blessing the work he was doing, and that he should turn back from it and give up, but Paul refused. When I try to put myself in Paul’s shoes, and then look at the things I suffer in comparison (not enough people showing up on Sunday mornings, or people not being as committed as I would like them to be), admittedly I’m quite embarrassed! God has blessed me, and blessed us, beyond measure! What valid reason do we have for not wholeheartedly devoting ourselves to making disciples?!? But Paul wrote to the Colossians…
"24 I am glad when I suffer for you in my body, for I am participating in the sufferings of Christ that continue for his body, the church. 25 God has given me the responsibility of serving his church by proclaiming his entire message to you. 26 This message was kept secret for centuries and generations past, but now it has been revealed to God’s people.27 For God wanted them to know that the riches and glory of Christ are for you Gentiles, too. And this is the secret: Christ lives in you. This gives you assurance of sharing his glory.
28 So we tell others about Christ, warning everyone and teaching everyone with all the wisdom God has given us. We want to present them to God, perfect in their relationship to Christ. 29 That’s why I work and struggle so hard, depending on Christ’s mighty power that works within me.” (Colossians 1:24-29 NLT)
Again, the things I suffer, and the things we suffer, undoubtedly pale in comparison to the things that Paul was suffering. Regardless, we suffer for the sake of Christ, and for the sake of His church. And every once in a while, I think we need to be reminded why we do. The mission of making disciples, as Paul says, is about “warning everyone and teaching everyone with all the wisdom God has given us.” And the reason we do this is because, when the end comes, “we want to present them to God, perfect in their relationship to Christ.” And I love Paul’s words in verse 29, “That’s why I work and struggle so hard…”
The mission of making disciples is not an easy one. Jesus never promised it would be. But as Paul also says, that’s why we need to depend on Christ’s mighty power that works within us, and not on our own strength. We struggle and we work hard, but we struggle and we work hard for a reason. And I am convinced that when the end comes, and we stand before God and hear Him say, “Well done good and faithful servant”, it will undeniably be worth it.
And so, we labor on...
